Cook, share, make friends
Sarah Stacey tells the story of Share A Meal, a new neighbourhood initiative to connect with people living on their own who've lost the motivation to eat properly
Just after I moved from London to Thorncombe, the small Dorset village where my husband and I now live full time, I had a very serious riding accident. Smashed left arm so 18 screws and two plates; fractured jaw; bruises all over; PAIN in spades for months and months. I didn't know my neighbours well and was astonished and very touched by how they rallied round, feeding cats and horses, doing my shopping and, notably, bringing me homemade soups and stews.
That was in 2002 but the legacy of that TLC from neighbours was the inspiration behind a new community movement called Share A Meal, which I’ve founded jointly with three friends. It is quite simply what it says on the tin: cooking a couple of extra portions of food and taking it round to one or more neighbours.
This time, the impetus came back in the summer when I realised that a close friend who lives on her own was getting thinner and thinner. She’s elderly but not old-old at 74. When I asked her about it, she batted away my concerns saying she did eat, really she did – by which she meant, I discovered, a croissant for lunch or a plate of greens.
She told me she couldn't be bothered to cook a proper meal just for herself. My colleague and friend Catherine Fenton echoed those concerns about one of her elderly family members. We heard the same story from many others, with a typical response: ‘oh my Nan/Auntie/Mum/Dad is the same, she says she just can’t be bothered to cook for one…’. (NB men living on their own are very much affected too.)
Underpinning the lack of interest in food is loneliness, especially during this bizarre time when many older people are too anxious to go out and may not have mastered online shopping. When Catherine and I explained our idea of starting Share A Meal as a neighbourhood movement nationwide to nutritionist Jane Clarke and Laura Nathan, Managing Director of Entice PR, their response was immediate: ‘We’re in!’
So I hope very much that you’re in too. There are no rules about how to do it, no forms to fill in – you do it however you wish with anyone you think would benefit from sharing a meal. I don't think anyone has ever turned down a steaming tasty pot when they’re offered it.
I trot up and down the street with hot Leek and Potato Soup, casseroles and pies (that’s our Fish Pie below), even simple puds like Baked Vanilla Rice Pudding or Apple, Sultana and Cinnamon Crumble (perfected by my husband who’s really happy as he gets more puds now than he’s ever had…). Another founder is part of a rota taking meals round to a nonagenarian in their London street.
One friend’s 14-year old son loves cooking and older people so he’s very content stirring and tasting new dishes from the recipes on the Share A Meal website. You’ll find 12 real comfort food recipes, trialled by us (so we know they work well), plus scrumptious recipes from celebrity supporters including Prue and Peta Leith, The Hairy Bikers, Gregg Wallace and Michelin-starred chef Phil Howard (Phil’s easy Sausage and pasta casserole with cider is a dish of great deliciousness…).
As Gregg Wallace says, ‘We can make a difference and have a positive impact, we just need to reach out.’ (And sharing a slice or two of Gregg’s Spiced fruit cake is a great way to do that, we’ve found.)
We’ve had lots of support from health professionals too. Devon GP Dr. Michael Dixon, NHS Champion for Social Prescription, says ‘the benefits of healthy eating and social interaction have a very strong evidence base and this wonderful initiative achieves both. The health service – and even our planet – will not survive unless we can restore this ethos of mutual responsibility and community spirit. I hope this is taken up far and wide.’
Please, please spread the word and SHARE A MEAL with your neighbours.
PS You can also follow us on Instagram @shareamealuk and Facebook here